Birthday of SPOOKY DOOM
by ckret2
Summary: Zim learns that on someone's birthday, everyone else has to do whatever the birthday person wants. Zim uses this knowledge, and tries to take over Earth with it.


This is just something short I thought of. I saw a toilet papered house the other day, and wondered what would happen if Gir toilet papered the base. So, this fic was born! Yeah, I'm currently writing two others, but oh well! I'm outta ideas anyway! :P So, hope you enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim. If I did, I would send the Armada after Nickelodeumb Studios. And, I spelled the name for THAT station wrong on purpose. Notice the "dumb (deumb?)" indiscreetly added at the end of the word. Mmyep. I'm sly like Sly Cooper!  
  
Disclaimer 2: I don't own Sly Cooper either. It's a game. Yeah.  
  
~*~  
  
Birthday of SPOOKY DOOM  
  
Zim walked up the street to his base. He was in a particularly good mood. Some kid had thrown a tomato at Dib.  
  
Zim's good mood only lasted until he opened the door to his base, which was when he saw the living room covered in white STUFF!!  
  
"Hiya Master!" Gir screamed, running around with the white stuff streaming out behind him. "I'm decoratin' the house with TOILET PAPER! 'Cause today, we're havin' a PAAAAAAAR-TAY!"  
  
Zim looked at the toilet paper, furious, then he walked over it to reach Gir. "What do you mean, 'party?'" Zim demanded. "Get rid of this toilet paper NOW!"  
  
"Nuh-uh," Gir said. "You can't make me!"  
  
Zim glared at Gir. "Why not?"  
  
"'Cause today's my BIRTHDAY!!" Gir said, tossing a roll of toilet paper over Zim's head, leaving a strip in his face. Zim just brushed it off, curious as to what this event was that gave Gir the liberty to disobey his master.  
  
"What is this 'birthday' you speak of?" Zim asked. "Is it a weapon?"  
  
"Nooooooo," Gir said, and continued toilet-papering.  
  
"Well then what is it?" Zim asked.  
  
"Guess!" Gir screamed, but at Zim's glare Gir decided it wiser to just tell him. "A birthday is the day you were born. I was born a year ago on this day! Whoot! I'm one year old!" Gir latched himself onto Zim's head. "I'm a baby! Feed me, mama!" Gir started chewing Zim's antenna like candy.  
  
"Gaaaah!" Zim screamed. "Get off me!" He shoved Gir off. "Never, EVER touch my antenna. They're very sensitive, and if you hurt them I could be paralyzed for a couple of weeks, maybe months."  
  
Gir nodded. "I get it! So, I get to eat your leg instead!" Gir grabbed Zim's leg. "HI LEGGY! YOU'RE MY BIRTHDAY DINNER!!!"  
  
Zim tried to knock his robot off, but to no avail. Besides, Gir had said that on a person's birthday, they could do whatever they wanted. Zim couldn't stop Gir.  
  
An idea hit Zim. It hit him like a great big semi filled with cows. Oh, the cows.  
  
"If it was MY birthday, Dib wouldn't be able to stop me from taking over Earth!" Zim smiled at his own brilliance, then he was hit with yet another stroke of genius. "And if EVERY day was my birthday, he wouldn't be able to fight back!"  
  
"Gir!" Zim said, and the robot looked up, not detaching himself from Zim's leg. "Celebrate your birthday quick, for tomorrow is MY birthday!"  
  
"It is?" Gir said. "Oooooooo, I LOVE parties!"  
  
Zim just smiled in that OH SO EVIL way of his.  
  
~*~  
  
Dib stood in front of Skool, waiting for Zim to come. Everyone else had gone inside and the bell had long rung, but Dib still sat outside. He KNEW Zim was the one that had thrown the tomato, maybe as further revenge for the whole muffin incident. Dib wanted to prove it.  
  
About an hour late for skool, Zim walked calmly up the stairs to the skool building. Just by looking at him, Dib KNEW he was up to something. Dib decided to try a subtle approach to get the information  
  
"Zim!" he screamed. "What are you up to?!?"  
  
Zim smiled innocently as he walked into the skool. "Nothing at all," he said. "I don't need to do anything today. It's my birthday."  
  
Dib raised an eyebrow and followed Zim in. "Your birthday," he said dubiously. "Aliens celebrate birthdays?"  
  
"I'm not an alien," Zim said. "I celebrate my birthday just like every one of you normal human stink-beasts."  
  
"Stop fooling around, Zim!" Dib said. "I know you're up to something."  
  
"I don't have to be 'up to something,'" Zim said, "because I can do anything I want on my birthday."  
  
They walked into Mrs. Bitter's class, an hour late. "Zim! Dib!" Mrs. Bitters said angrily. "You're late! You both get detention from now until the Earth is taken over by aliens!"  
  
"But I have an excuse, Mrs. Bitters," Zim said sweetly. "Today's my birthday!"  
  
Mrs. Bitters eyed Zim, then said, "Okay, you're off the hook. Dib, you get both detentions, so you're in detention until Earth is taken over by aliens TWICE!"  
  
"What?!" Dib said. "That's not fair! Zim was late TOO!"  
  
"But it's his birthday," Mrs. Bitters said. "By the ancient and incredibly stupid law put down by the incredibly stupid cavemen, if it's your birthday, you can do whatever you want. So, Zim can do what he wants. In fact, for today, I'm giving up my class to him!" Mrs. Bitters packed some stuff in a suitcase she got from under her desk, and walked out the door. "I needed a vacation from you wretched children anyway."  
  
After Mrs. Bitters had gone, Zim turned and looked at the other kids. You could see the evil radiating from his eyes. It's spooky.  
  
"Well, for now, all of you have to do pushups. I'll find something else for you to do later." The whole class got out of their chairs and started doing pushups. Zim looked around the classroom in satisfaction, until he realized that Dib wasn't doing pushups with the rest of the class.  
  
"Why aren't you doing pushups like everyone else, Dib-beast?" Zim asked, a warning in his voice.  
  
"Why should I?" Dib asked. "I'm not your slave!"  
  
"True," Zim said. "But it isn't your birthday, is it? It's mine. And you have to do whatever I say."  
  
Dib opened his mouth like he was about to say something, then closed it and reluctantly started doing pushups.  
  
"Yesssssssss," Zim hissed. "Yes! OBEY ZIM!!"  
  
~*~  
  
Zim walked in his base, where Gir was watching the Scary Monkey Show. "Turn that horrible thing off," Zim said as he walked past. To his surprise, Gir obeyed.  
  
Zim turned around to look at Gir, who was now staring at a blank screen. "Why did you do that?" Zim asked.  
  
"'Cause you told me to," Gir said.  
  
Zim looked at Gir for a few minutes, then hesitantly asked, "Are you feeling okay?"  
  
"Yup," Gir said, his eyes never straying from the black screen. "I turned if off 'cause it's your birthday!"  
  
Zim looked at Gir for a few minutes, then climbed into the trash can and went down to his underground lab. The power of the birthday was truly amazing. Amazing enough to control Gir. Amazing enough to control the humans? Zim would soon see. It was time for the final test.  
  
Zim turned on his transmitter. Now, instead of contacting the Massive, he contacted every Earth television station at the same time.  
  
As the screen lit up, Zim started talking.  
  
"People of Earth!" Zim said. "I am Invader Zim, here to take over your world!" he took off his disguise so all the people watching Earth would see who he was. "Do not try to resist my power, for I can control you. How, you might ask? It's my birthday!" Zim paused dramatically, then continued on. "You all must obey me, for I an your ruler! I am your BIRTHDAY RULER!"  
  
Zim thought for a moment, wondering what he should do to make sure that the humans were obeying him. "Now, I, as your lord and king, command you all to do the CHICKEN DANCE!"  
  
Zim listened, ant he thought that he could hear from the surface of Earth the sound of the Chicken Dance song. "Excellent," he muttered.  
  
"Now," he said. "You all are to go to the continent Australia, where you shall receive further instructions from your leader."  
  
~*~  
  
Zim landed his Voot on a platform, and all the gathered humans screamed in pure doomy joy. Getting out, he looked around at the crowd, realizing he had finally won. And Dib wouldn't be able to stop him!  
  
"I'm your ruler now," Zim said, and the crowd roared. Zim wondered why they were cheering at being slaves, and then just shrugged it off. The humans cheered at the shrug.  
  
Zim blinked, wondering just how much control he had. He lifted his left arm. More cheers.  
  
'This is getting ridiculous,' Zim thought.  
  
"Okay," he said. "Now that I'm your ruler and everything, you all have to obey ME! And my first order as supreme ruler is--"  
  
"You won't be making ANY orders, ZIM!" a familiar voice screamed in the crowd, and a burst of water came from the crowd, narrowly missing Zim's head.  
  
Heart pounding Zim screamed, "I demand to know who fired that shot!"  
  
The crowd parted, revealing Dib, holding a water gun.  
  
"Nice try, Dib," Zim said mockingly. "But you can't stop me. As my first order as supreme ruler, I forbid you from stopping me!"  
  
"I obey NO leader!" Dib declared.  
  
"You may not," Zim said, smirking, "but you do obey the birthday boy."  
  
Dib opened his mouth to say something no doubt cutting and witty, but Zim said, "The rest of you! Lock him up in a crazy bucket!"  
  
"NO!" Dib screamed as the crowd converged on him. "NOT THE BUCKET AGAIN! NOT THE BUCKET!!"  
  
"Look on the bright side, Dib, now you only have one detention to go." Zim grinned evilly. "Now, I want you all to build me a temple for me to live in, and I want statues of me all over the planet for you to worship every day.  
  
The humans dispersed, and Zim flew back to his base so he could monitor the progress of the construction.  
  
~*~  
  
The statues were up, and the temple was near completion the next morning, when they were all torn down. Zim looked at the screen in shock and anger. Those insolent humans! How DARE they defy him, the great ZIM!  
  
He ran outside, and saw all the humans on his street returning to their homes. He grabbed a passing one's elbow. "Why have you all stopped working?!" Zim demanded. "I am your leader! You must obey ME!"  
  
The man started drooling. "Um, uh, why DID we stop working? Um, dyuuuuuuuuuuuuuh, oh yeah. Your birthday was yesterday, yeah. We don't have to listen to you today."  
  
"Yeah," Zim said, "but-- but-- TODAY'S MY BIRTHDAY AGAIN!!"  
  
The man shrugged. "We only have birthday's once a year. Wait, do we? Ummmmm, I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ANYMORE!"  
  
Zim let go of the human's elbow and stared at him in shock. "I've lost?" The man just walked away, twitching and yelling things like, "WHY DOES NO ONE LIKE ME??"  
  
Zim stared at all the humans, then just fell on his knees in the middle of the sidewalk. "NO!" he screamed. "I was SO CLOSE! I HAD you! I HAD EARTH! HOW could I LOSE!?!?!?!?!?!?"  
  
"Having some trouble, Zim?" A voice spat. Zim turned around, and saw Dib. He was seething with anger.  
  
"Nice try, alien," Dib hissed. "You got pretty close, that you did, but not close enough. Face it, Invader, you'll never win. You'll always miss one detail. This time, it was the fact that birthdays are one day long. I don't know what it'll be next time. But the last mistake you make will be me. I'll stop you then. You can't beat me, Zim! YOU CAN'T!"  
  
Dib lunged at Zim, who jumped out of the way using his spider legs. He pulled out a paralazer (a paralyzing lazer! XD), and shot Dib. The boy crumpled to the ground. "Looks like I beat you after all," Zim said. "You'll be paralyzed for three weeks."  
  
"YAAAAAAY MASTA!" Gir screamed, running out of the base. "YOU STOPPED DIBBY!" Gir jumped on Zim's head. "I'm gonna have me's a celebration snack." He started chewing on Zim's antenna again.  
  
"No Gir!" Zim screamed. "You're gonna paralyze m--"  
  
Zim collapsed to the ground, paralyzed like Dib. "Oops," Gir said sheepishly, then carefully went back in the base.  
  
Zim and Dib lay in the street, both unable to move, each waiting to become un-paralyzed so they could kill the other. Unfortunately for the both of them, before either could recover a semi decided to go down the road they were stuck in. A semi full of cows. Oh, the cows.  
  
End  
  
~*~  
  
Okay, that was pointless. Well, I liked writing it. Please review.  
  
Oh, and by the way, did anyone catch the Rurouni Kenshin reference? ~ckret2 


End file.
